The Not So All-Stars

Dave Paisley

So MLB has released the second round of updates to the All-Star voting and it’s becoming pretty obvious that wearing a Yankee or Mariner uniform puts you on the fast track to contention in the fans’ hearts. Either that or Seattleites and New Yorkers are just more adept than most fans at punching out the right chads. The numbers right now show Mariners and Yankees in the following slots:

1B	1st and 2nd
2B	1st and 2
3B	2nd and 5th (and that 5th is the so far lackluster Jeff Cirillo)
SS	3rd and 4th
C	1st and 3rd
OF	1st, 4th, 5th (and 13th and 14th)

But what MLB doesn’t show you is the bottom of the list. I guess six months ago I would have made a Weakest Link joke, but who remembers that now?

Over at 1B, for example, sure you could have Jason Giambi with his 1.030 OPS, or Jim Thome with his 1.027 (and of course, Thome doesn’t even crack the top 5 of All-Star voting.) The voters have managed to get Doug Mientkiewicz into third place at 1B despite his .787 OPS, and even worse, somehow, a renegade group of Devil Rays fans has got Steve Cox (of the .736 OPS) into fifth place. It’s tough to pick the greater mystery — how did Tampa find enough fans to stuff the ballot box, and why stuff it for Cox? Then there’s the mystery of Tony Clark over in Boston. At least Bosox fans are bright enough not to stuff the ballot box.

The Rays fans have completely overlooked Brent Abernathy at 2B, though, despite his stellar .646 OPS. And Cleveland fans are not only dropping the ball for Thome, they’ve somehow avoided getting Ricky Gutierrez onto the leader board despite his spectacular .583 OPS

It appears from the 3B voting that the Red Sox fans aren’t above a bit of ballot stuffing, given Shea Hillenbrand’s lead at 3B, despite the superior contributions of Messrs. Hinske, Batista and Chavez. And Cleveland fans are missing out on the big Travis Fryman push again. What, a .606 OPS isn’t good enough for you? If .606 isn’t good enough for Tribe fans, .613 apparently is good enough for Seattle fans, as Jeff Cirillo makes the vote leader board despite that paltry OPS to date, proving Seattle fans are nothing if not loyal. Discounting shortstops making $25M a year, of course.

Speaking of shortstops making $25M a year, Senor Rodriguez leads the shortstop voting and shortstop production. Shame about the rest of the team, though. But why have Arod in the All-Star game when you could have Christian Guzman (.581 OPS), Royce Clayton (.593) or Neifi Perez(.598)? Sure all that hitting and stuff looks pretty, but does it really win games? Empirical evidence says it doesn’t. (I’m kidding — well, at least partly..)

At catcher, Jorge Posada (deservedly) takes over the vote lead from Irod, but the Devil Rays fan(s) slacked off big time by not pushing Toby Hall (.497 OPS). Don’t care for Toby? Take your pick of Einar Diaz, Mike Rivera, Darrin Fletcher or Mark Johnson, all with sub-.600 OPSs.

In the outfield, Ichiro Suzuki leads not only in votes, but in OPS, with .926 (given Manny Ramirez’ unexpected absence). Amazingly enough, Mike Cameron’s 4^th place in votes isn’t entirely undeserved. Despite seeing his average slip to .227, his OPS remains close to .800, thanks to his power and batting eye (yes, despite the strikeouts.) But Cameron’s a piker in the slacker sweepstakes compared to the likes of Chuck Knoblauch (.493 OPS) who seems to be destined to prove that recent seasons’ suckitude was no fluke. You could round out a very nice former All-Star outfield with Carl Everett and Greg Vaughn (both .577). And by "very nice" I mean, of course, "so bad and overpaid they make your average car industry CEO look like St. Theresa and St. Francis of Assissi rolled into one."

So my AL non-star team (i.e. guys you’ve heard of) would look something like this:

1B	Tony Clark (.562)
2B	Ricky Gutierrez (.583)
3B	Travis Fryman (.606)
SS	Christian Guzman (.581)
C	Darrin Fletcher (.560)
OF	Chuck Knoblauch (.493)
	Carl Everett (.577)
	Greg Vaughn (.577)

Interesting that only the 3B cracks the .600 OPS barrier. Now, if I can only get Chan Ho Park and his 10.93 ERA to start for me and Hideki Irabu (6.49 ERA) to close, I’m all set to take on Barry Bonds and the rest of the NL.

about the author

Gotta love those All-Star votes. Nominate your favorite worst selection for the All-Star team by letting Dave Paisley know at drdjp@strikethree.com. Tampa Bay fans are not allowed extra votes, despite rumors to the contrary