All-Star Selection Mania *

Dave Paisley

* - Burkett sold separately

You know, I’m really surprised by the general reaction to John Burkett’s announced boycott of the All-Star game. For once, a player appears to have hit on a way to screw over the Gods of Baseball without well and truly pissing off the fans. Sure, Burkett probably just wanted to have a little fun at the Commish’s expense while announcing that he would rather spend the three day break with his wife and kids.

"I don't want to go to Milwaukee and play in an All-Star game that would benefit him," Burkett told The Globe on Friday. "It's something I feel strongly about, and I'm willing to stand up and make that decision."

By Sunday, his story became, "I have my reasons, and I don't want to go into that, but I thought it out,"

John, John, stick to your guns, buddy. It’s one of the smartest ideas bandied around this season so far, and might be just the spark the negotiations need to get serious.

Burkett apparently has other players thinking about the issue. Noted philosopher and slugger Gary Sheffield is reported to have said, "I'd never thought about it, but since he mentioned it, it's on my mind now. It just depends on how much information you have from the union about progress in negotiations. You just always want to do what's best for baseball. If the fans want you there, then you probably should go, even though it's difficult some times."

Gee, Gary, if you only wanted to do what was good for the fans then maybe you shouldn’t go on strike in September and kill the playoffs again as is being widely rumored. I’m sure if given the choice, the fans would prefer the (metaphorical) sharp, swift kick to the Commissioner’s groin that would be an All-Star game boycott, followed by proper negotiations and a settlement, rather than a repeat of 1994-95. But hey, maybe that’s just the Percoset talking.

And speaking of noted philosophers, here are Sir Joe Torre’s words on the subject. "You hate to see that," said Torre said. "The Player's Association has been so good at doing things together. I don't think that's good for baseball, especially with the black cloud hanging over the game right now."

Well, duh, Joe. Do you really think passing on the All-Star game is such a lousy idea, but losing another post-season is just fine? At what point are the two sides going to get serious without some significant action? And I mean before it’s too late and macho posturing takes over. Oh, too late already, hmm?

Still, Burkett was on his way to consideration for the All-Star team. As I noted last week, several players are taking themselves out of consideration already by their ham-handed antics on the field.

In the National League, over at 1B, it looks like J. T. Snow made up his mind a while ago (maybe seasons or even decades ago) that the All-Star game was not for him. He has so carefully crafted a resume devoid of All-Star caliber features that nobody will question him about his master plan to boycott Selig’s fete of baseball in July. The same can be said of Mo Vaughn, Lee Stevens and Tino Martinez. They’re nothing if not cunning, these anti-Selig first sackers.

At second base, Eric Young refuses to budge from his steadfast dedication to a .600 OPS. After all, aren’t all 2B expected to hit that poorly? His sentiments are apparently shared by Mark Grudzielanek and surprisingly, this year at least, Roberto Alomar.

3B is yet even more cunning, with the likes of Bill Mueller, Aramis Ramirez, Adrian Beltre and Vinny Castilla all steadfast in their resolve to not buy a plane ticket to Milwaukee this summer.

At short, Rey Ordonez is rapidly regaining his claim to the crown as king of the sub-.600 OPS. With competition from such no-names as Cesar Izturis, D’Angelo Jimenez and Ramon Vazquez, Rey is assured of a happy break at the barbecue, not lining Bud’s pockets.

Catcher is another hotbed of union activism, with Joe Girardi (doesn’t get more lunchpail than that), Tom Lampkin and Javy Lopez ready to down tools at a moments notice. Oh, maybe they never actually picked up the tools in the first place.

Rounding out the "We ain’t going to no stinking’ All-Star game, Mr. Selig!" faction is an outfield of Moises Alou (oops, I think he pulled a hamstring just sensing that I wrote his name down), Doug Glanville and Roger Cedeno. Or we could just go with an all-Met outfield of Burnitz, Payton and Cedeno, for roughly a .650 OPS across the board.

Maybe it’s too late for us fans to vote for a truly non-star all team (but nice try with Armando Rios, Pirate fans!) but the players could force Selig’s hand with a nicely timed All-Star boycott. And maybe the high priced talent could just donate whatever money would have gone to the pension fund. "Oh, you mean out of their pocket?" I hear you say. Yeah, really, what was I thinking...

about the author

Chances are Dave Paisley will boycott the All-Star game for a balmy evening concert on the pier in Seattle. Why not try to persuade him to watch by begging to drdjp@strikethree.com?