February, 2006 Archive

It’s either Bonds in drag or Abdul on steroids

February 28, 2006

SCOTTSDALE, AZ — Media and fans alike were surprised on Tuesday when Barry Bonds appeared in full drag as Paula Abdul for a Giants team spoof of “American Idol.” The event also featured Ray Durham as Randy Jackson, Jeff Fassero as Simon Cowell and Omar Vizquel causing a hair gel shortage in Arizona by posing […]

Nats, with eye to cool t-shirts, sign Astacio

February 28, 2006

VIERA, Fla. — Looking to boost their injury- and haplessness-plagued pitching staff, the Washington Nationals agreed tentatively to a one-year deal with RHP Pedro Astacio on Monday. Stung by one deal — a trade for Brian Lawrence — that resulted with their newly-acquired pitcher suffering from a pre-existing injury, Astacio’s contract is contingent on an […]

Schmidt authors book; makes bold public statement

February 28, 2006

CLEARWATER, Fla. — Despite the cloud of suspicion that followed last year’s congressional hearing testimony, former Phillie slugger Mike Schmidt thinks Mark McGwire should be in the Hall of Fame. While working as a special instructor for the Phils, Schmidt made the statement as he began discussing his forthcoming book, Clearing the Bases: Juiced Players, […]

Woman elected to Hall; giant wasps invade Manhattan

February 28, 2006

TAMPA, Fla. — Any woman bold enough to schedule an Anti-Lynching Day at the ballpark in 1939 is okay by us, and Effa Manley was okay by the Hall of Fame voters, winning election on Monday. Manley, whose husband made his fortune in the old-time numbers game, co-owned the Newark Eagles of the Negro League […]

Jazz Odyssey

February 28, 2006

Wherein you will find contrition, mea culpas like crazy, and then a treatise on how we’re so gonna rock. Michael Cox just wants to be loved…is that so wrong?

The Lunatic is in the Hall

February 28, 2006

We saved the “Bad” part of “The Good, The Bad, and The Analysis” for last, because not only do his actions look even more idiotic now than they did back in 2003, but this guy is still running the show at the Hall of Fame. Michael Cox won’t forget, and neither should you.

Pitchability

February 28, 2006

The second part of our trilogy comes from 2001, when David Cameron nailed that special…something…that makes us want to sing. Better go read it before we actually do.

The Golden Age is Now

February 28, 2006

People (and especially congressional subcommittees) often forget how good we’ve had it recently, baseball-wise. In 1998, Michael Cox penned this ode to recognizing what’s there, lest you decide to swear at it instead. The first in our flashback series, “The Good, The Bad, and The Prospect Analysis.”

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