March, 2006 Archive

Selig to probe Bonds’ steroids, Rose’s bennies, Ruth’s bathtub gin

March 30, 2006

NEW YORK, NY — In a much-anticipated move, commissioner Bud Selig will announce tomorrow that he will probe the allegations of steroid use against Barry Bonds “and others,” an unidentified stoolie said on Wednesday. The unnamed “baseball official,” likely over a dinner at a fine New York restaurant, told the Associated Press that Selig would […]

Link(s) of the Week: Julian Tavarez, Gentle Soul

March 29, 2006

A hothead whose dead crappy in-game decisions lead to worse decisions which lead, in turn, to a career as the pitcher nobody really wants, or a misunderstood everyman? You decide.

Tavarez to media: you’re so gay

March 29, 2006

FORT MYERS, FL — Red Sox (and formerly Cardinals, Pirates, Marlins, Cubs, Rockies, Giants and Indians) RHP Julian Tavarez found himself in hot water again on Tuesday. The pitcher touched off a bench-clearing brawl in the 12-11 Red Sox win over the Devil Rays Monday when he punched Tampa OF Joey Gathright after tagging him […]

Apparently they CAN make a federal case out of it

March 28, 2006

WASHINGTON, DC — With the nation apparently suffering from a lack of important issues, Congress may turn to local TV baseball coverage as its new crusade. Rep. Tom Davis said on Sunday that he would consider holding hearings if Comcast does not come to terms with the new network that will broadcast Washington Nationals games. […]

Umps in minors demand upgrade from generic mac ‘n’ cheese

March 27, 2006

The company that supplies the minor leagues’ umpires fired back on the eve of a strike that would cause triple-A games to be run by beer-league umps. The umps, who have been hired seasonally but also form the pool from which MLB umpires are selected, have not been able to come to an agreement on […]

Bonds pursues the other great American pastime

March 24, 2006

SAN FRANCISCO, CA — With the ink not even dry on the first copies of the exposé Game of Shadows, Barry Bonds and his lawyers have done a little printing themselves, in the form of a lawsuit. On Thursday Bonds’ lawyers sent a letter informing writers Mark Fainaru-Wada and Lance Williams and their publishers that […]

Spring Back, Fall Forward

March 24, 2006

When Dave Paisley originally dashed the hopes of those in Denver and KC in 2002, he didn’t realize he’d do the exact same thing all over again in 2006. Here’s a little Spring Training data to only reinforce the fact that you should have been watching the WBC instead.

Next week Soriano also to help out with towels

March 23, 2006

JUPITER, FL — After he was a no-show for his first game as the Washington Nationals’ new left fielder, Alfonso Soriano took his position on Wednesday, ending speculation about whatever people were speculating about. The game was uneventful for Soriano, with the exception of a throw to double Cardinals SS David Eckstein off second base. […]

Pop Goes The World

March 21, 2006

In the same international spirit with which he nicks a title from Men Without Hats, Michael Cox picks a few nits with the WBC and wishes for the day when he never has to see Bud Selig present another trophy.

Korea picked the wrong day to quit pitching

March 19, 2006

SAN DIEGO, CA — Favorites, schmavorites: a heavily favored Dominican team and the previously undefeated Koreans both went down to defeat on Saturday. After opening up leads in the seventh inning of their respective games, Cuba and Japan will face off in a World Baseball Classic final sure to capture the imaginations of, well, Cuba […]

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