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NEW YORK, NY — Only two days after finally getting together with a federal mediator, minor-league umpires have come to terms on a contract with the company contracted to contract them, both sides said Friday. “Federal mediator Lou Manchise made a recommendation that proved acceptable to both sides,” said George Yund, lawyer for the Association […]
NEW YORK, NY — Years after giving the Lorias a sweet deal to sell the Expos, buy the Marlins and win the World Series, Major League Baseball is finally going to end its stint as franchise owners, COO Bob Du Puy said Thursday. Finally finding a buyer willing to pay their $450 million asking price, […]
ST. LOUIS, MO — A week after The Battle of the Showboats, Albert Pujols again homered off Pirates pitcher Oliver Perez, but this time he put his bat down nice and easy before dashing around the bases. That didn’t stop the press from spending the rest of the week rehashing The Bat Flip Seen Round […]
You learned how crazy opinion polls were when they all showed John Kerry winning the last election. Well, they’re just as wacky where the national pastime is concerned, as AOL took time away from sending out incredible offers for 15,956 hours of free internet to ask whether you think Barry Bonds is an upright citizen. Hey, maybe there’s money in that. Er, be right back…
WASHINGTON, DC – Baseball fans may not like steroids or Barry Bonds, but they’re not sure, an AOL/AP poll found on Monday. The survey of 793 people who claimed to be baseball fans took the innovative step of asking half the respondents different questions, and as expected, got differing results.
Of the half who were […]
SAN DIEGO, CA — Former Mets first baseman and current broadcaster Keith Hernandez was on the wrong coast at the wrong time on Saturday, as he remarked that Padres’ massage therapist Kelly Calabrese, and women in general, “don’t belong in the dugout.”
“Who is the girl in the dugout, with the long hair?” Hernandez said, […]
BOSTON, MA — Maybe it’s because Steinbrenner forced him to trim the hair and goatee, but Randy Johnson is apparently off the short list of hunks, coming in second in an alternative weekly’s list of least sexy men. Unit placed behind only Gilbert Gottfried, best known by baseball fans as the voice of the duck […]
Remember the heady days of Jimmy Carter, Chrysler K-cars and “who shot J.R.”? At least one sportswriter doesn’t, but hey, bands that sound like The Cure are in again, so why not?
MIAMI, FL — The plot of Nationals GM Jim Bowden’s DUI charge continued to thicken Wednesday, after it was revealed that police also charged his girlfriend with battery and resisting arrest. Officers at the scene said they saw Bowden and Joy Browning arguing before they reached Bowden’s car, and that they found scratches on his […]
SAN FRANCISCO, CA — With Barry Bonds in the homer slump of his career, MLB did its best to bring him back in the news, fining the slugger $5000 for wearing wristbands that violate uniform specs. According to MLB’s head disciplinarian, Bob Watson, the size and logo design were at issue, with Bonds apparently trying […]
BOSTON, MA - David Wells’ return to the Red Sox was less than two-fisted on Tuesday, with the lefty retracting some, but clearly not all, of an earlier statement aimed squarely at Bud Selig. “I wish to apologize for my comments of a few weeks ago regarding commissioner Bud Selig,” the e-mailed mea culpa began, […]
NEW YORK, NY — He may have won 95 percent of them in Boston, but the Mets celebrated 200 wins by Pedro Martinez on Monday with a huge, er, banner. Martinez struck out eight Braves in 6-2/3 innings to anchor the 4-3 win and keep their hold on first place long enough to generate a […]
MIAMI, FL — Entering a realm formerly reserved for players, Nationals GM Jim Bowden was arrested and charged with driving under the influence of alcohol early Monday morning. Police said Bowden ran a stop sign, then failed field sobriety tests (one of which is saying “failed field sobriety tests” three times fast) and smelled strongly […]
CHICAGO, IL — He may not know how to run a team or build a stadium, but Jerry Reinsdorf knows hair, and he asked the White Sox’ most hirsute members to trim theirs on Monday. Apparently concerned that his team was being confused with the other Sox, Reinsdorf told A.J. Pierzynski and Joe Crede to […]
LOS ANGELES, CA — In the next step in his return to the Cubs’ rotation, Kerry Wood was set to rejoin the team today, officials said. This will be good news to Cub fans, who can now return to chanting “magic fridge.” As a possible prelude to a rehab assignment, Wood is scheduled to throw […]
NEW YORK, NY — The good news for the Yankees is that the Royals are playing to expectations. The bad news on Thursday was that ace of aces Randy “Insert Slang For Large Penis Here” Johnson lasted only five innings of the 9-3 Yank victory, leaving the game with what could have been shoulder stiffness, […]
SAN FRANCISCO, CA — In the wake of two controversial books and an official MLB investigation, the government decided to do their part in the Barry Bonds race to judgment, convening a Grand Jury investigation into possible perjury. Citing sources hidden in the dark recesses of a local parking garage, CNN and the AP said […]
With the season into its second week, we at Strikethree.com have noticed exactly zero incidents of players entering the stands in response to merciless taunting. This would indicate that you aren’t doing it right. In 1999, Hayes Bowman scribbled this classic Strikethree.com primer on the backs of various beer labels, and it holds true today.
SAN FRANCISCO, CA — The state of Georgia held its collective breath on Sunday, as Braves 3B Chipper Jones went down with what he thought might be a torn ACL during a 6-5 loss to the Giants. Fortunately, the owie turned out to be a likely twisted right knee and ankle sprain–one of those girly-man […]
PAWTUCKET, RI — The road back from knee surgery goes through Pawtucket, where David Wells will pitch Friday night for the Red Sox’ AAA affiliate. Although the start is a one-shot on the way to a scheduled April 12 callup to Boston, Rhode Island bars have been busy hiring extra bouncers in preparation.
Strangely, Sox manager […]