SAN FRANCISCO, CA — The state of Georgia held its collective breath on Sunday, as Braves 3B Chipper Jones went down with what he thought might be a torn ACL during a 6-5 loss to the Giants. Fortunately, the owie turned out to be a likely twisted right knee and ankle sprain–one of those girly-man baseball injuries that a football player would shoot with drugs and tape up before getting back on the field.
Jones was charging a Mike Matheny grounder when he fell to the ground. “When it happened, my knee was killing me,” said Jones, who was walking without a crutch after the game. “They’re saying that my ACL is intact, which is good, so we’ll just kind of wait and see how the pain is over the next couple of days.” Jones suffered a torn left ACL prior to the 1994 season, putting his rookie year on hold while he stocked up on Playstation games and booze.
Players and coaches questioned the wisdom of holding two concerts at AT&T Park (formerly SBC Park, formerly Pac Bell Park) in the days immediately prior to the season’s start, blaming the rough field for minor injuries to Marcus Giles and Barry Bonds. The Giants, who privately own their ballpark, explained that without these additional events, the team would have to whore its home’s very name out to a heartless ever-growing telco.