NEW YORK, NY — Only two days after finally getting together with a federal mediator, minor-league umpires have come to terms on a contract with the company contracted to contract them, both sides said Friday. “Federal mediator Lou Manchise made a recommendation that proved acceptable to both sides,” said George Yund, lawyer for the Association of Minor League Umpires. The AMLU works for the Professional Baseball Umpire Corp., who in turn is paid by Minor League Baseball.
The agreement follows an incident where highly-regarded prospect Delmon Young tossed a bat at a replacement umpire, hitting him in the chest. Young, who has been suspended indefinitely, immediately apologized. “My behavior was completely unacceptable…I owe an apology to my team, the fans and most importantly to the umpire, for the incident,” said Young, possibly not understanding that had he blamed steroids, the press would have returned to bothering Barry Bonds. The identity of the umpire is unknown, due to MiLB’s policy of not naming its replacement umps, and the Associated Press’ policy of not hiring good sportswriters.
The striking umps, who were joined on the picket line by major-league brethren on Tuesday, will vote on the new contract on Monday. When asked whether MiLB couldn’t just hire the umps itself, a spokesman said, “what, are you on crack?”