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Recent wisdom, gossip and conjecture:
BOSTON, MA – David Wells’ return to the Red Sox was less than two-fisted on Tuesday, with the lefty retracting some, but clearly not all, of an earlier statement aimed squarely at Bud Selig. “I wish to apologize for my comments of a few weeks ago regarding commissioner Bud Selig,” the e-mailed mea culpa began, [...]
NEW YORK, NY — He may have won 95 percent of them in Boston, but the Mets celebrated 200 wins by Pedro Martinez on Monday with a huge, er, banner. Martinez struck out eight Braves in 6-2/3 innings to anchor the 4-3 win and keep their hold on first place long enough to generate a [...]
MIAMI, FL — Entering a realm formerly reserved for players, Nationals GM Jim Bowden was arrested and charged with driving under the influence of alcohol early Monday morning. Police said Bowden ran a stop sign, then failed field sobriety tests (one of which is saying “failed field sobriety tests” three times fast) and smelled strongly [...]
CHICAGO, IL — He may not know how to run a team or build a stadium, but Jerry Reinsdorf knows hair, and he asked the White Sox’ most hirsute members to trim theirs on Monday. Apparently concerned that his team was being confused with the other Sox, Reinsdorf told A.J. Pierzynski and Joe Crede to [...]
LOS ANGELES, CA — In the next step in his return to the Cubs’ rotation, Kerry Wood was set to rejoin the team today, officials said. This will be good news to Cub fans, who can now return to chanting “magic fridge.” As a possible prelude to a rehab assignment, Wood is scheduled to throw [...]
NEW YORK, NY — The good news for the Yankees is that the Royals are playing to expectations. The bad news on Thursday was that ace of aces Randy “Insert Slang For Large Penis Here” Johnson lasted only five innings of the 9-3 Yank victory, leaving the game with what could have been shoulder stiffness, [...]
SAN FRANCISCO, CA — In the wake of two controversial books and an official MLB investigation, the government decided to do their part in the Barry Bonds race to judgment, convening a Grand Jury investigation into possible perjury. Citing sources hidden in the dark recesses of a local parking garage, CNN and the AP said [...]
With the season into its second week, we at Strikethree.com have noticed exactly zero incidents of players entering the stands in response to merciless taunting. This would indicate that you aren’t doing it right. In 1999, Hayes Bowman scribbled this classic Strikethree.com primer on the backs of various beer labels, and it holds true today.
SAN FRANCISCO, CA — The state of Georgia held its collective breath on Sunday, as Braves 3B Chipper Jones went down with what he thought might be a torn ACL during a 6-5 loss to the Giants. Fortunately, the owie turned out to be a likely twisted right knee and ankle sprain–one of those girly-man [...]
PAWTUCKET, RI — The road back from knee surgery goes through Pawtucket, where David Wells will pitch Friday night for the Red Sox’ AAA affiliate. Although the start is a one-shot on the way to a scheduled April 12 callup to Boston, Rhode Island bars have been busy hiring extra bouncers in preparation. Strangely, Sox [...]
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