WASHINGTON, DC â€“ Major League Baseball has finally found an ownership group for the Washington Nationals, and in the process generating $330 in profit which likely will be spent on more â€œI Live for Thisâ€ ads. The new ownership group, headed by Maryland billionaire real-estate magnate Theodore N. Lerner, was approved by a phone vote Wednesday afternoon. Lernerâ€™s group, who also includes his son Mark as well as several DC insiders, will pay $450 million for the team as well as a sweet lease on what will be the most expensive ballpark in MLB. â€œThis sure beats expansion â€“ I hope we can convince Pohlad to do it now,â€ said an anonymous source who may in fact have been only the janitor.
Lerner is the ultimate winner of a game of musical chairs which began when MLB purchased the Expos from career team-killer Jeffrey Loria. In return, Loria was fast-tracked to buy the Marlins from John Henry, who in turn received the Red Sox for only the second-highest bid on the condition that he stop all his crazy talk about building stadiums with his own money.
The DC City Council, however, may not accept Lerner with open arms. “It looks like we’re headed to divorce court before we even say, ‘I do,’ ” council member Vincent B. Orange Sr. told the Washington Post. Orange and former Mayor Marion Berry accused Lerner of only accepting token minority investors into his group. The insinuation is rumored to have upset Lerner, who had no idea there were minority investors in his group.