Okay, so there isn’t a direct, free video of this anywhere (YouTube, why hast thou forsaken me?), but I’ll recreate this gem from Rick Reilly’s appearance on The Colbert Report Thursday, May 4:
REILLY: All of Bonds’ records should stand, but beside them in the record book there should be a little syringe.
AUDIENCE: (Hearty, throaty booing)
Yes, the SI columnist’s trademark snide dig at Barry Bonds fell flat, thus demonstrating that Colbert’s crowd is a touch more intelligent than the guys Rick normally runs with. (As if we didn’t frickin’ know that already.)
Colbert then proceeded to, um, needle Reilly over SI’s more-profitable-than-actual-sports swimsuit issues. There’s probably no truth to the rumor that Reilly was subsequently seen in a Manhattan bar heavily inebriated and shouting, “f*** that f**ing Comedy Central! F*** all those non-sportswriters! We know what’s really going on! We know! The helmet! The f***ing helmet!!!”
If you can’t see one of the 693 reruns of the show on May 5, you can buy it on iTunes (c’mon, one-dollar-99-cent bad-sportswriter-booing goodness!) or keep your eye on Comedy Central’s Colbert page to see if it surfaces there.