June, 2006 Archive

Myers sent to A-ball for non-televised booing

June 28, 2006

BALTIMORE, MD — Phillies pitcher Brett Myers asked for a leave of absence, and got demoted Wednesday as the fallout from his public wife-beating incident continued. Myers had been seen punching his wife on Friday near Fenway Park, where the Phillies were playing an interleague series. Myers is not expected to pitch for single-A Clearwater, […]

Bonds now dabbling with Zoloft

June 28, 2006

SAN FRANCISCO, CA — Barry bonds is happy, reporters dutifully jotted down on Tuesday. This revelation comes in tandem with the news that MLB’s drug probe hasn’t yet gotten around to him, despite the fact that the reporters’ hounding of Bud Selig regarding Bonds is the whole reason the probe exists. “I’m doing good, ain’t […]

Link(s) of the Week: Get well Pete…

June 28, 2006

Peter Gammons suffered a cerebral aneurysm on Tuesday. Here’s the bad, the good, and the slam at a peer.

Ozzie to receive Commissioner’s Marge Schott Award

June 22, 2006

CHICAGO, IL — Mere moments after receiving a suspension for his role in a beaning, White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen got the other barrel from Bud Selig on Thursday for loudly judging a sportswriter’s sexual orientation. MLB disciplinarian Bob “Hang ‘Em High” Watson suspended Guillen and Sox pitcher David Riske for Riske’s inside heater earlier […]

“We’re feds, not computer geeks, dammit”

June 22, 2006

SAN FRANCISCO, CA — In an attempt to find out who leaked grand jury testimony, federal authorities sorted through siezed e-mail messages from the computer of BALCO founder Victor Conte, discovering his conversations with San Francisco Chronicle writer Mark Fainaru-Wada, and inadvertently creating a leak of their own on Wednesday. The incriminating documents, released on […]

Grimsley, apparently fearing Vincent D’Onofrio, sings like canary

June 8, 2006

PHOENIX, AZ – One day after authorities tracked a shipment of human growth hormone to his house, Diamondbacks pitcher Jason Grimsley was released on Wednesday, the team said as they wiped sweat from their foreheads. D-Backs GM Josh Byrnes told reporters that Grimsley asked for his unconditional release, adding, “we accepted his request.” The release […]

Link(s) of the Week: Spilling the (Coffee) Beans

June 8, 2006

Grimsley tried to lam, but they cheesed him, and now he’s fingering…half of MLB. We have an exclusive artist’s rendering of the primary suspect.

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