“We’re feds, not computer geeks, dammit”

From the Strikethree.com Newsroom

SAN FRANCISCO, CA — In an attempt to find out who leaked grand jury testimony, federal authorities sorted through siezed e-mail messages from the computer of BALCO founder Victor Conte, discovering his conversations with San Francisco Chronicle writer Mark Fainaru-Wada, and inadvertently creating a leak of their own on Wednesday.

The incriminating documents, released on Wednesday with names obscured, were easly de-obscured by those with high-school-equivalent knowledge of Adobe Acrobat. Upon discovering their technical ineptitude, at least one federal investigator was said to have raised his eyebrows and placed his fingertips just over his pursed lips.

Wada’s e-mails show that Conte supplied information on the testimony, although it was unclear whether he supplied transcripts or simply joked about it. “I would say at this point the only way the athletes’ grand jury testimonies will come out is at trial…unless I just give you a copy of the indexed CD rom that contains all 30 thousand pages of evidence,” Conte wrote. “How would you like that? Just kidding.” And as every man who has asked his girlfriend about a threesome knows, “just kidding” often means “just kidding…unless you’re into it.”

Conte also confirmed in another message that Jason Giambi admitted taking steroids, possibly adding, “OMG, LOL.”

The leaked testimony from the BALCO hearings form the basis of the book Fainaru-Wada co-authored, “Game of Shadows,” as well as the basis of the giant cardboard needles fans have brought to Giants away games this year.

Despite the evidence, the feds say the leaker was not clear from the evidence, and hope to force Fainaru-Wada and co-writer Lance Williams to reveal their source, which they are unlikely to do at least until the royalties hit their offshore bank accounts.

Published June 22, 2006

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