1998 Feature Archive

 

News, Opinion, and Humor

Holiday Trivia Quiz
Who says there's nothing to do? Get out those trivia books and rev up them search engines, because we got us a bona-fide trivia contest, courtesy of Jason Michael Barker. Just remember, none of the answers are "Pete Incaviglia."

Baseballhead:
Houston, We Have a Problem

Clemens says now that he doesn't necessarily want to be traded...or does he? After a move that packs as much spin as a Congressman's speech, Michael Cox becomes the latest person who doesn't know Clemens personally yet call his demands "unreasonable."

Deals of Mystery
Is your team's GM a dream, or a dud? How do you know? When he makes a big-deal signing, should you dance in the streets, or round up the villagers to march on the team offices bearing torches and pitchforks? Derek Zumsteg scratches the tip of the iceberg, to mix the metaphor...

Psst...You Wanna Buy a Book?
The Yule clock is winding down and you're frantic. You'd get that baseball fan in your life a pair of tickets to a game against the Dodgers, but the team hasn't started printing 'em yet. You'd consider a free agent, but the early shoppers have passed over only Norm Charlton and Ricky Bones. So, how 'bout a Bill James book?

Under the Tree
He's making a list, he's checking it twice, and before you know it, Santa Dave Paisley will be hauling his sack about, flinging seasonal joy about and generally waking the neighbors. But before he does, he's sizing up a few lumps of coal.

Uh...
With the winter meetings breaking up and the holidays just a week away, it's prime time for some brewing trades. We'll start off with Jason Michael Barker, who attempts to make some sense of the handful of swaps so far, and comes to the conclusion that there are no losers here.

Cycle of Destruction
As the current batch of signings incite some to take up arms against big-market moguls, Derek Zumsteg just sits back and laughs, thinking about how those same robber barons are headed towards self-immolation. Caution: this article includes the use of the word "assface." Ah... I guess this blurb does too.

Baseballhead:
That's Rich

Across America this summer, people will hear the sound of a plane overhead, and won't pay it any mind until a voice booms from a loudspeaker: "I am Kevin Brown. I could buy and sell you, and I'm not wearing pants." Michael Cox also looks at Roger Clemens' Brown envy, Selig's umps, and more.

Hot Rumors Take the Chill off Winter
With the telephone tree heating up, Jason Michael Barker offers a whispered diversion for when you tire of turning the garden hose on carolers.

Time for Selig to wake up and smell what the Roc is cooking
The best thing baseball could do would be to take cues from a sport that's not even a sport. Baseball has a lot to learn from pro wrestling, Derek Zumsteg maintains, and it might not just be the painkillers talking.

Baseballhead:
Now They're Just Being Silly

Casting a jaundiced eye towards the recent desert deals, Michael Cox attempts to figure out where he got all that jaundice.

Culture for the Masses
In a wistful mood, Jason Michael Barker presents some gems of poetry for your...okay, so he got stuck for something to write. It ain't easy talking baseball in December, you know.

A Confederation of Schlemiels
Several times per year, a natural phenomenon takes place: Owners meet to discuss business, and hours later they emerge, utterly bereft of accomplishment. Michael Cox takes you on safari to these creatures' natural habitat.

Baseballhead:
The Saddest Man in Chicago

There's a little guy in the South Side who could use a great big hug about now. Okay, so he's a really, really big guy, but he looks a little like a giant monster version of Gary Coleman, so don't be scared. Michael Cox also briefly mentions lotsa stuff, including the fate of the Big Unit's follicles, the destination of Todd Hundley, and nefarious ownership dealings.

Symptoms, Problems, Solutions
As some teams march towards the technicolor Oz of cash and postseason play, others remain terminally mired in a monochrome Kansas. Derek Zumsteg, like thousands before him, points out that the yellow brick road's been dug up and stored by Steinbrenner and Angelos, and that Bud "Scarecrow" Selig hasn't yet gotten his wish.

Expansion Brothers in Trouble
The fates of expansion brethren are seldom the same -- look at the Mets and Astros; the Rockies and Marlins; the Devil Rays and Diamondbacks (well, after a few more years of Diamond Jerry Colangelo, anyway). Especially the Mariners and Blue Jays, but Jason Michael Barker explains that they're in the same boat now, however, even if it is located up a creek and contains no paddle.

Baseball Ghosts and Christmas Presents?
Wondering what to get for the man who has everything? So are we, but Dave has a holiday gift option for the man who doesn't have this particular thing.

Baseballhead:
Robbed Again

It's not quite a week later, and the 'net is abuzz with those who feel that (insert name here, usually Albert Belle) should have rightly won. Michael Cox thinks they're wrong, but so was the BBWAA. Also, a great move in the AL office, The Boss wants the money and the glory, and more.

Offseason Companion
We know how hard it is for a baseball fan in the offseason, when the top priorities are stoking the fireplace and trying to avoid any sporting event featuring a theme song by Hank Williams Jr. Derek Zumsteg suggests an alternative lifestyle, err, so to speak.

Season Ticket Invoice Blues
Michael Cox has had enough of his local team's management screwing around with the value of his season tickets, and if you're unfortunate enough to hold season passes in a city like his, he has a word or two for you. Season ticket-holders who are mad as hell and not gonna take it anymore (but don't wanna give up their seats): next Oprah.

Holiday Gift Guide
What do you get for the man who has everything? Jason Michael Barker suggests some items that would go over far, far better than a bag of angry ferrets.

Trip, trip, triple the fun
It had to happen -- someone making that yearly trek into the dark, echoey cavity that is the mind of a Baseball Writers' Association of America member. Dave Paisley does the deed, after which we all volunteered to hose him down.

The Baseballhead Awards
Awards Week continues with Michael Cox, who finds some awards (the top players, for example) pretty easy to give out, while others (you'll see) have an entire field of immensely worthy (or unworthy, as the case may be) candidates. We won't let him "administer" the latter awards (strangely, shaped like a red-hot poker) himself, however.

The Heckler Awards
While the BBWAA (pronounced "Baba Wawa") pools their collective wisdom to come up with either the slap-you-in-the-face obvious or "conventional wisdom" picks, we here at S3 take responsibility on an individual basis. Derek Zumsteg goes first. Warning: Adult language aimed at Lou Piniella and Albert Belle.

Baseballhead:
Crappy Players Everywhere, Rejoice!

The madness in this offseason of our discontent has little to do with the Piazzas and Vaughns and (ahem) Johnsons. It has everything to do with the Lewises and Bohanons, or so Michael Cox surmises. Also, someone's been dipping the pen in company ink, which we could ignore if there was only some MLB/Japan baseball on the tube.

Free Agent Frenzy
Deal rumors are flying, and players will soon be swapping teams like swingers on a Saturday, and if there was ever a time custom-made for VirtualGammons, this is it. Now, if we can just find the wiseguy who programmed him to use adjectives as nouns and begin sentences with "but"...then again, we can now groom him for a middle management job.

Hot Dog! Vendor lands big contract
Mike Piazza, sure. Mo Vaughn, of course. But with even the likes of Darren Lewis and Devon White signing multimillion-dollar deals, where will the madness end? Jason Michael Barker knows, and tells us all whether we want to know or not.

Yakyu Doodle
In case you didn't realize there was a Baseball Event of Extraordinary Magnitude afoot, Michael Cox is here to explain not only what and why, but also where. Hint: they love them some Jimmy James.

Baseballhead:
Another Awards Show. Wow.

After the People's Choice Awards, American Video Awards, the Espys and other sundry attempts to make money while getting free appearances from celebs, you'd think everyone involved would have learned their lesson. Not so. Michael Coxcompares and contrasts the Player's Choice Awards with other contemporary fare, and now requires therapy.

Disappointing Teams Blame Hecklers, Internet
The reason many teams failed this year isn't a lack of talent, idiot managers (Piniella), or anything like that -- it's you kids booing and posting mean things on the Internet. Derek Zumsteg reports on the newest, greatest threat to your team's future.

Baseballhead:
Love and Money

The afterglow of the Yankees' Fall Classic gives way to the sobering walk of shame that is the Mets. Michael Cox predicts just when Mike Piazza will just crack and fall over, like a newly logged Douglas Fir.

The Season for Seasons
With the year's baseball wrapped up, Derek Zumsteg explains the cliffhangers you should be focusing on. Caution: it will harsh your buzz.

World Series Wrapola
In a quick once-over, Dave Paisley suggests this Classic was better off played with Strat-O-Matic cards. Not really, but where without dice involved can Scott Brosius become MVP?

You've Come a Long Way, Baby
Mid-Series, Jason Michael Barker offers up the latest in the century-long string of Unlikely Postseason Heroes. And it's nothing like Hogan's Heroes.

I Must Not Think Bad Thoughts
Slamming a Ritalin and closing his eyes, Michael Cox offers what's good about Fox's World Series coverage. And believe it or not, it isn't a candidate for Shortest Book in the World.

TV OD
We're not through the World Series yet, but Derek Zumsteg has already had to be talked down three times from attempting to put a brick through the television. Find out why.

Bullpen O' Doom
Assessing the Padres' problems as the Series begins, Dave Paisley begins humming "Stuck In The Middle With You." If he starts dancing around with a straight razor, run.

Baseballhead:
The '70s Are Back!

Grow out that bushy moustache and proudly wear those synthetic fabrics! Michael Cox thinks the next development will be the return of the Atari. Whoops.

A Tale of Two Pitchers
It was the best of arms, it was the worst of arms, Jason Michael Barker opines after witnessing a specific postseason duel.

Big Bum Rap
Um, well, that's a saucy title, huh? Dave Paisley will explain how it's not what it sounds like. Suuuure.

NL Observations
Quickly recapping as the Senior Circuit enters its stretch drive, Dave Paisley asks if you'd like to double down.

Division Series, Day One:
Technology Gooood

Computers come to rescue us from the stress of a TV-less workplace! Michael Cox toasts the Interweb, then realizes it's just the first step to a conquering robot army.

Baseballhead:
(No) Sign O' the Times

What if they gave a game time, and no game came? Or something? Michael Cox wonders if the next step isn't airbrushing Fay Vincent out of old photos. Also, Division Series picks, two more reasons why the NFL blows, and more.

Playoffs Good
The 1998 season is in the books, but not to fear; with the extra round the MLB post-season is looking more like an NBA-style second season. VirtualGammons was programmed with the teams you'll see, and after we edited out extraneous definite articles,the result is quite legible.

The Golden Age is Now
Oh, to have lived during the '20s and '30s, when baseball was real, players could care less whether they had to pay the owners to play, and there was no wild card. Michael Cox says sure, you say that now, but wait until the sixth inning when there's no blooper reel.

Counter/Point:
You're Role Models, Face Your Responsibilities -- Abe Froman, PTA Chairman
You'd Do It Too, Admit It! --
'Albert', ballplayer

Baseballhead: There, That Wasn't So Hard
Some thought Ripken was selfish for prolonging The Streak. Others thought he was fooling himself regarding his declining skills. Michael Cox, however, saw the fear in Cal's eyes. Also: bad umpiring is also bad law, and good umpiring is "controversial."

Homer Hawks? Lawk 'Em Up!
If you spend your days pacing Waveland Avenue or the aisleway of your local ballpark, catching homers to sell to the card guy down the street, Michael Cox invites you to put the glove away, sit down, and stop annoying people.

Baseballhead:The Race
Sammy Sosa. His name usually comes right after that of Mark McGwire. When he matches Mac's total, the wire stories read "Sosa temporarily ties HR lead." So why does he have to wear the Robin outfit when he could be Batman? Also, Griffey, more Griffey, and the crappy Denver writer who didn't dis Griffey.

Saint Cal?
After our recent spate of observational Mark McGwire articles, a few of our readers wondered if we weren't being a bit harsh. Well, no (we like Mac, mostly), but sentimental types might want to steer clear of Dave Paisley's deconstruction of the previous "man who saved baseball."

I, Mac
"I hope I didn't act foolish," Mark McGwire said after slobbering all over the poor Maris kids in celebration of history. We hope that every day, and every day we fail. Michael Cox spent Tuesday night watching and scribbling, while Jason Michael Barker cozied up to his calculator.

Counter/Point:
McGwire earns place in America's heart -- Jason Michael Barker
This is the biggest fix since the Black Sox -- Derek Zumsteg

Baseballhead: Choking on HR Saccharine
You know, kids are really what the game is all about, but even they've got to be wincing at all the sugary goodness thoroughly coating the chase for Maris. Michael Cox watches the porcelain Greyhound stop in St. Louis. He also manages to find a non-McGwire topic or two.

When Fellow Fans Attack
When we gave away tickets a couple of weeks ago, we were hoping that Hayes Bowman wasn't reading. Unfortunately for all involved, he was, and as we all know, this sort of thing can never end well. All we can say is maybe the cop hated Brady Anderson too.

Your Best Entertainment Value: Part Two - What Else You Gonna Do?
Michael Cox has collected all of the possible entertainment options, and come to a singular conclusion: Major League Baseball, for all the things it is, isn't overpriced. Not by a longshot. In fact, you can see the Yo-Yo Mas of baseball for the price of a garage band.

Modicum of Moves Made; Analysis Abounds
On Monday, the MLB season passed another one of those milestones that seems to make team officials run about the room waving their hands above their heads. Jason Michael Barker makes sense of the Cora trade, the Jefferies shuffle and the Buddy Bell buh-bye, but still can't fathom that Bichette thing.

Baseballhead:
Say What?

Crappy deals, crappy players, crappy sportswriters...can't Michael Cox say anything good about anything? Uh, well, um...I guess not. He is starting to like Sammy Sosa, though. Bichette, the McGwire ejection, beanie baby hawkers and more are within.

Wild Card Wacky
Why is everyone getting bored with the season already? VirtualGammons says we should be thrilled with Gonzo and Piazza, but then again, he's only got 8 MB of RAM.

Why Fans Aren't Umpires
When Mark McGwire was thrown out of the game on Saturday, the crowd was livid. They threw things, they chanted, they booed and pouted. Why? Jason Michael Barker explains that like a child at the mall, they wanted something that they just couldn't have.

Let's Play Six!
Many of you who are lucky enough to live near a team with an open-air ballpark are familiar with that late-season bonus: the doubleheader. Melissa Hughes chronicles her recent multigame, multiday baseball OD.

Give Mac a Break
Drugs, drugs, drugs. It's always the drugs with you kids. Now it's that bad influence, Jason Michael Barker, who says McGwire (McGwire, McGwire, McGwire...) has absolutely nothing to answer for, and shame on you for ragging on him. Go to your room.

Baseballhead:
The World According to Alt.Discretion.Valor

When last we left "Pecs" McGwire, he was in a sticky situation of his own creatine...I mean, creation. What to do, what to do? Michael Cox has a suggestion and a tip for the future. Also, Livan Hernandez needs a humble pill, a guy in New Jersey needs smart drinks, and more.

Hopped Up on Goofballs
Mark McGwire doesn't use steroids. He uses a steroid-like substance that does exactly what steroids do. Derek Zumsteg looks at the two stories which make up the McGwire Kerfuffle.

Your Best Entertainment Value
(Part One)

Even though Michael Cox realizes that the day someone doesn't think they have to mortgage the villa to attend a Major League Baseball game is the day they stop overusing computer-generated effects on kids' juice drink commercials. Still, he feels he must rant and explain all over again.

Masters among Men
Two active players are among the best of the best, with careers that should already be legendary. They're not Joe Carter, or Paul Molitor, or Wade Boggs -- they're much, much better. One's a batter, one's a pitcher.

Baseballhead:
No Candid Camera for Junior

If you can stumble and fall, then can laugh about it, you can do something that Ken Griffey can't. Michael Cox explains the one chink in the armor of the game's greatest guy. Also: Why Petey can't retire, Big Daddy's handshake deal, and more. And yes, it's a day early this week.

San Francisco or Bust
Where there's a baseball fan and a car, there's a road trip in the making, and Jason Michael Barker answered the siren song of the out-of-town ballpark, where the grass is always greener, the sun a little brighter, and the wind just a tad...well, forget the wind.

Crosstown Traffic
It's Road Trip Week (Road Trip Wednesday and Friday, anyway), and we kick off with Melissa Hughes, who left her familiar baseball world in Queens to brave the wilds of the Yankee Stadium bleachers. Okay, so it was only a Subway Trip, but who drives to the Bronx?

Baseballhead:
When a Walk Isn't Good as a Hit

Gone are the projections of 83 home runs this year for Mark McGwire. Gone are the "paces" that would even earn Griffey or Sosa the record. Why? It's simple - the wild card. Huh? Also, Sammy cheats Fox, Biggio sheds his streak, and more.

Bash Bluster
The mainstream (and not just sports) media's almost total infatuation with the Maris Chase may actually harm the game more than it helps. Derek Zumsteg tells you why watching Mark McGwire should mean being forced to also watch Willie McGee.

Ballpark Figures:
You Can't Stop Progress

New deals in San Diego and Pittsburgh, a re-deal in Minneapolis, and other recent developments are more than just business as usual. They're indicators of a new attitude that could result in the best of both ballpark worlds. Michael Cox explains what we're babbling about.

Anything else on?
In this teaser, we refuse to make any sort of joke based on: 1) The fact that this article is about how suddenly humdrum MLB is (Sammy Sosa and the Astros aside); 2) These are what is known as the "dog days"; 3) The piece was written by Jason Michael Barker. We just won't do it. No sirree.

Baseballhead:
Johnsoned to Death

Michael Cox promises that after this column he won't mention the Big Unit again...unless he needs to. This time, however, he covers former teammates' reaction to the newest trade to be called "The Trade." Caution: Contains asterisks to represent swear words for no apparent reason.

VirtualGammons: Trades are Good
The witching hour approacheth, and we hand off our final trade predictions to VirtualGammons - we feed names and phrases into a computer, and what comes out can't be any less plausible than Greg Colbrunn for pitching prospects.

Hall of Hopefuls
Sure, this year sportswriters had a hard time finding someone good enough to send to the Hall of Fame, but a bumper crop prepares for almost certain induction in the next couple years. There are also a passel of current players who are locks for Cooperstown, and Jason Michael Barker inducts Rickey Henderson and Ken Griffey, Jr. in advance so as to beat the rush.

Baseballhead:
When Players Attack

There has certainly been no shortage of news as of late, from the falsified Randy Johnson quotes, to the rumored Dan Duquette transgressions, to the waffling of a certain columnist Michael Cox loves to hate. Villains, heroes, guys who should just count their blessings, and others who do - they're all in there.

You've Gotta Walk McGwire
Mark McGwire might hit a bunch more home runs than anyone before him, but do pitchers have a responsibility to help him do that? Derek Zumsteg says no, at least not if those other teams (you know the ones - they're in pennant races and stuff) want to win.

FOX, New Fans, and Freaks
Some baseball traditionalists are up in arms about the makeover the sport is undergoing on Rupert Murdoch's network. Jason Michael Barker is here to let the "purists" know that there are shots you can get to end that troublesome foaming at the mouth.

Let's Make a Deal
(or, "Look! Joe Carter's Available!")

Giants GM Brian Sabean pulled the trigger Thursday on what may be the biggest deals since Barry Bonds came to the Bay. Dave Paisley would like you to keep in mind, however, that "biggest" can mean the exact opposite of "best".

The Angry Fan
There's a new breed of fan out there; one who knows what they like and won't put up with no crapola. The problem is that they may not know real crapola if it jumped up and bit 'em (and that in itself is a frightening image). Michael Cox introduces you to a pack of whiners.

Baseballhead:
The Future is Now

In the future, Alex Rodriguez will still be a handsome feller at 52 years of age, fans refuse to do the wave (finally!), and Tony Muser will still be a bad, bad manager. Michael Cox also covers Fox' attempts to turn MLB into hockey, MLB's attempts to turn baseball into MTV, and various attempts to turn money into a baseball team (or vice versa).

The Lost Art of the Baseball Writer
If you feel unsatisfied reading your local baseball writers, there's a good reason for it: they're no good. Derek Zumsteg explores the lack of great writing about the greatest sport.

Change or Die:
Selig's Lot

Bud Selig is boss. Get used to it. Michael Cox doesn't think it's all that bad, as long as Bud sticks to an agenda which includes getting Griffey on MLB's side and laughing in Ted Turner's face.

Celebrity Softball (Sort Of)
In case you've been wondering about the whereabouts of Melissa Hughes, she's been all dreamy-like since rubbing elbows with the likes of Derek Jeter (not too hard though, he's fragile) and David Cone a couple of weeks ago. However, she emerged long enough to give us this example of players doing good, if not breaking their contracts' risk provisions.

Baseballhead:
Whiffing for the Masses

The "important" part of the season has now begun (tell the Reds the first half was "unimportant"), and Michael Cox catalogs the Agony and Ecstasy so far. He also asks the musical question: Mark McGwire's a nice enough guy, but do you want him barging into your house uninvited?-

The Lost Art of the Baseball Writer
If you feel unsatisfied reading your local baseball writers, there's a good reason for it: they're no good. Derek Zumsteg explores the lack of great writing about the greatest sport.

Foolish (but Officially Licensed) Games
Have you ever dreamed of fielding a team with Ken Griffey, Greg Maddux and Frank Thomas in the same lineup, or a squad consisting entirely of Rey Ordonezes? Have you ever wished for the power of an MLB team owner, or commissioner, or the most powerful position of all: player agent? Hayes Bowman reviews the current crop of electronic baseball games. Next week: cures for button-finger blisters.

Swami Sez...
You're expecting hard answers to hard questions. Tough nuts. Jason Michael Barker answers the easy ones in his midseason column of revised predictions. Oh, and by the way...Mark McGwire.

Baseballhead:
Bob Kravitz - Still an Idiot

It seems the war of words continues, but since Michael Cox seems to be battling an unarmed man, he promises to stop after this. Also, he synopsizes Costas, super-sizes the new MasterCard ad, and tries to avoid talking about Bud Selig.

Mid-Season Spectacular
Anywhere else, you'd be dead bored due to the lack of news which follows the traditional post-All-Star Game "siesta day", but Jason Michael Barker has cooked up a halfway-point rundown of the movers and losers, the do-bees and the don't-bees, and we're sure he mentions Mark McGwire as well.

Where the Hell is the Air Force When You Need Them?
We don't think you've had enough recaps of the All-Star Game yet, so we asked Dave Paisley to recreate the actual feel of the experience. He dashed this off before he left to pillory the guy who must be the most-hated pilot in the entire world.

Baseballhead:
He's the King

You had a spat, but then he realized he really does love you, so he went out and won you that big plush midway puppy. Michael Cox Explains that Ken Griffey's new clothes look just fine, it's just that certain people (who have inexplicably been given media jobs) are trying hard not to see them.

Fan Voting: Your Picks Tweaked
Feeling like you're the only one who honestly thinks Juan Gonzalez and Cal Ripken, Jr. really deserve to start in the Midsummer Classic this year? Well, if that's the case, Jason Michael Barker isn't going to do much for your self-esteem.

VGammons Can't Count
Alternative All-Star teams. Everybody's got one. Our own silicon-based friend of the clubhouse leader, VirtualGammons, crunches empty stats and says, "Here's to the fan vaforite!" (we had to fire the data entry guy, needless to say).

The All-Star Game:
What's Good About MLB

With the cream of baseball talent poised to assemble in Denver this Tuesday, Michael Cox wants to make certain that you're thankful for the one thing that MLB hasn't even tried to mess up lately.

Baseballhead:
Halfway House

There was no baseball last night. So what did Michael Cox do on Black Monday? He thought wacky thoughts about Mark McGwire, Ty Cobb and more. Now he's sharing them with you...Hey, where do you think you're going?

6/29/98 The VirtualWorm Turns, VirtualGammons

6/26/98 Rad Realignment, Michael Cox

6/23/98 Baseballhead: Steinbrenner of the West, Michael Cox

6/21/98 Wither DH? Jason Michael Barker

6/19/98 Vegas: Land of the Lost? Michael Cox

6/18/98 Ask Not For Whom the Axe Falls, Jason Michael Barker

6/16/98 Baseballhead: Trek to Stupidity, Michael Cox

6/12/98 Honey vs. Vinegar: The Politics of Ballpark Opposition, Michael Cox

6/9/98 Baseballhead: Deja Vu All Over Again, Michael Cox

6/7/98 Interleague Play: It's baaaack! Jason Michael Barker

6/3/98 Draft: Sign of the Times

6/3/98 My Favorite Things, Jason Michael Barker

6/2/98 Baseballhead: Nomo is No Mo, Michael Cox

6/1/98 VirtualGammons: On the Pitching Tip, VirtualGammons

5/31/98 Dealer's Choice: Early-Season Trades are Wild, Jason Michael Barker

5/29/98 Change or Die: Whatever Happened to the Free Ticket?, Michael Cox

5/25/98 Baseballhead: I Went to a Fight and a Baseball Game Broke Out, Michael Cox

5/24/98 A Moveable Feast (and Wet Bar), Hayes Bowman's now-famous food-smuggling essay.

5/23/98 On Brawls and Beanballs, Jason Michael Barker

5/22/98 The Thin Blue Line, Dylan Bumbarger

5/19/98 Baseballhead: Mad Dogs and Floridians, Michael Cox

5/16/98 LA Story: Piazza sent Packing, Jason Michael Barker

5/15/98 The Adventures of Baseball Annie: An Open Letter to Annies, Melissa Hughes

5/14/98 Tales of Hayes: Justice is Served, Hayes Bowman

5/12/98 This Was the Week That Was (or Something), Michael Cox

5/11/98 Gary Sheffield: Rebel Without an Excuse, Derek Zumsteg

5/10/98 This Week in Baseball Obsession: Drinks with Ballplayers, Melissa Hughes

5/4/98 This Week in Baseball Obsession, Melissa Hughes

5/3/98 Alex Rodriguez and the Giant Media Monster, Derek Zumsteg

5/1/98 Change or Die 2: It's the Marketing, Stupid, Michael Cox

4/30/98 Cinderella goes to the Ballgame, Dave Paisley

4/29/98 The Franchise:
NL West - AL West - AL East - AL Central Jason Michael Barker

4/27/98 To Hell With the O's, Derek Zumsteg

4/28/98 The Fan: Levels of Analysis, Ben Ramm

4/25/98 This Week In Baseball Obsession:
The Exciting Adventures of Baseball Annie
, Melissa Hughes

4/24/98 "Baseballhead: Budig is Nuts"
Michael Cox says Dr. Budig is the second-stupidest executive in baseball.

4/21/98 "New Boots and Contracts"
VirtualGammons on this year's rookies and Jerry Colangelo.

4/20/98 "Women in Baseball (or Lack Thereof)"
Derek Zumsteg went to update S3 on the state of women in baseball and found there weren't any.

4/19/98 They're Out There Watching
Dylan Bumbarger and Baseball Weekly's umpire evaluations.

4/17/98 Conventional Wisdom or Crap
Michael Cox's two-part on "Fans and Media" and "Statheads".

4/12/98 Derek Zumsteg looks at why people think players are overpaid, and isn't happy where his reasoning leads him. - Full Story -

4/11/98 Ben Ramm disagrees with Derek's anti-chemistry article. - Full Story -

4/10/98 Dylan Bumbarger's first Men in Blue column, where he watches the men charged with perfect observational skills. - Full Story -

4/9/98 Dave Paisley picks the essential books for this year's baseball season. - Full Story -

4/7/98 Michael Cox projects the first week's results out to the full season. - Full Story -

4/5/98 VirtualGammons on "Difficult Players, Difficult Choices". - Full Story -

4/4/98 Michael Cox makes his set of seasonal predictions about wackiness sure to ensue this season. - Full Story -

4/2/98 Hayes Bowman narrowly escapes the heat when he's provoked into shoving a cop down beer-slicked aisles. - Full Story -

4/1/98 Dave Paisley recaps the battle between Fan and Stathead. - Full Story -

4/1/98 Jason Barker wants to change his predictions after Opening Day in Seattle. - Full Story -

3/30/98 Predictions Special--Staff Predictions Compared, Laughed At

We've combined everyone's predictions in this handy-dandy and hugely labor-intensive chart.

See also Dave Paisley's team-by-team breakdowns, Jason Barker's Everyone's a Swami predictions, Ben Ramm's A Fan's Faves and Frauds, Derek Zumsteg's Picks and Putdowns, and our own beloved editor Michael Cox's Dartboard of Fate.

3/23/98 Derek Zumsteg says team chemistry's a myth without universal truth. - Full Story -

3/22/98 Jason Barker offers four simple ways to shorten games. - Full Story -

3/21/98 Michael Cox says baseball must change or die. - Full Story -

3/20/98 Dave Paisley on baseball's move to the metric system. - Full Story -

3/19/98 Michael Cox wiretaps the owner's meeting in this Baseballhead installment. - Full Story -

3/18/98 Jason Barker thinks Tony Phillips deserves a job. - Full Story -

3/16/98 VirtualGammons rambles about trades, buffets, and Scott Boras. - Full Story -

3/15/98 Jason Barker knows what's right with baseball. - Full Story -

3/15/98 Hayes Bowman, Strikethree's goodwill ambassador, calls Arizona a hellhole, gets in a brawl. - Full Story -

3/11/98 Ben Ramm relates the pain of having Woody Woodard GM his team.- Full Story -

3/2/98 VirtualGammons sees the sun rising in the AL East. - Full Story -

2/26/98 Hayes Bowman gets sprung after his Paul Spoljaric-inspired arrest. - Full Story -

2/26/98 VirtualGammons smells trades in the spring air. - Full Story -

2/26/98 Michael Cox lays out why we're doing Strikethree.com. - Full Story -

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